There’s probably not a more honest way of framing everything I want to say about my present journey with Christ than this: I’m so tired.
You would think that the quintessential “I went to college and went so much deeper in my walk with Jesus!” story would be marked by evangelical zeal, intellectual curiosity, and a voracious appetite for more of Christ, His Church, and His teachings. I did go to college (I graduate this April), and I have gone fathoms deeper in my walk with Christ; but my story could not be more opposite in so many ways.
My journey over the last four years has been marked, instead, by spiritual isolation, intellectual burnout, and a reluctance so great that I’ve used the phrase “kicking and screaming” to describe it more times than I can count. I have drug my feet to Scripture, Church history, and back again, through countless church buildings and traditions, and over a thousand pages of theology from Augustine, Aquinas, Calvin, Luther, to Chesterton, Kierkegaard, Wesley, Lewis. I’ve fasted, prayed, cried, discerned, talked late into countless nights with friends and mentors, begged my God to lead me into what was true and away from what was false.
And now, I have arrived on the doorstep of the Catholic Church.
For so many people I have spoken with, this fact alone invalidates every moment of the journey before it.
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